Why am I ?

Many days I have spent pondering (I am a ponderer) what caused me to be the way I am. Do you ever wonder what led you down the road to "NOW?"
My parents: they will be one of the four people who will probably read this so I hope I get it right. My parents were and were not hippies, let me explain my perspective of how they have effected who I am today.
Mom: Gave birth to me at 21. Mom and Dad divorced when I was 15 months old, so I don't' have any recollection of them together. The first picture of my parents together I only received a few years ago from an aunt. Mom wore the fashionable clothes of the seventy's and had Farrah Fawcett hair, then a really big AFRO, and I am not exaggerating: It Was BIG! Without divulging to much my mom was into that party, have a good time,culture of the sixties and seventy's. Mom met Marshall when I was four or five and they got married when I was six, we lived on a farm in rural Sheridan where we raised our own veggies, had horses, and a worm farm. Marshall was a lovely man whom I remember with nothing but admiration, he treated me like a princess and life was very happy. He to had a big ass AFRO. Mom was very indedpendent and even though she probably was afraid I never saw that, from her I learned to that I could depend on myself for survival.
Dad: Dad was into the art scene when I was born, this I do not remember, but I have heard stories that he spent a lot of time on the promenade painting back in the seventies. From stories I am told dad was a fan of Jimmie Hendrix, this is really hard for me to believe. Dad met Cathy, my step mom and they got married before I turned two. She is the only memory I ever have with my dad. Dad worked for the Game and Fish, I think, I am not to clear but they always lived on Lake Ouachita in the G/F housing. Dad took me fishing and hunting and we grew alot of our own food. Being frugal was necessary. Daddy is now a Republican,I forgive him :), and he trys to accept me.... pretty much we have to avoid the subject. Dad taught me about nature and animals.
Cathy:my step mom. When I think back to how young she was when she married dad, it tickles me. She had the perfect up do and cat eye glasses, later she adopted large glasses and a short seventies cut, with those terry cloth jumpsuits. One of her big assest's was how good she is with money, she taught me how to budget and I still use the method she taught me today. She and Dad taught me how to cook, took me to the lake, sat on the front porch with me, showed me how to drink homemade wine (eventually) pick muscidines, and do lots of other country stuff. I think Cathy's being from Sims had a lot to do with why Dad was smitten with her. Dad lived on a dairy farm early on and his mom and dad were very self sufficient. Cathy has all those qualities, and another quality that every woman in my family shares, the quality is in my words "put your big girl panties on and get on with it." Cathy taught me about finances and working hard to care for your family.
My grandparents Allen,Ruby and Clarence: Most of my childhood was spent with my Granny and Foo-Foo. Many reasons go behind this, mainly the availability of them to care for me while my parents worked and my great attachment to them. My grandparents went through the Great Depression. That should probably say it all. We never threw anything out, they drove the same cars forever, not a dime was wasted. Clothes were hand repaired, socks were darned (repaired), tomato's were grown, coke bottles were returned for deposit, and it goes on and on. My grandma was the most loving person I know, and I never heard her belittle anyone or be rude to anyone. She never lied and told me this quite regularly: "I do not lie, I will not lie for you (as in "tell the person on the phone I am not here)," etc.....Her example was a beacon of light for me later in life about who I wanted to become. Her kindness and her service to me and others made me along with my natural desire to be one who is extremely conscious of social equality and justice. One thing that is hard for me to say about my grandma that I didn't like and now strive not to be is "a doormat'. I probably work to hard at not being a doormat, maybe to my own fault. My grandparents taught me not to be wasteful, love others by your service to them, and what's on the inside is more important than what you wear, drive, or where you vacation.

Much of who I am I think comes from my natural God given personality to serve,it's one of my love languages, its my gift. There are many gifts I do not possess and I am keenly aware of my limits. One thing I am curious to find out is how our influence, Blake's and mine will effect our kids and others around us.
The Bible says we all have gifts to share. Iyengar in "Light on Yoga," talks about each individual gifts in relation to the type of yoga they practice.

Why it's necessary to look at our upbringing and see "Why am I?" is to impart what you will share with the world. If you know how you were influenced, you will know how to influence others, and I hope it's in a positive way that builds up instead of breaks down.