40

Yesterday it hit me....I have less than six months to get the perfect bod...you know the one I had at eighteen when I was sure I was obese, yes that one. Forty is upon me and it feels like it's chasing me. All my older friends I'm sure would like me to "shut the hell up"..this is what I said at a friends B-day this weekend who turned thirty, she sad "I look fat" PLEEEZZZZEEEEE!" She looks awesome in her teeny bikini. The middle agers just gave up all their pride, sported their suck you in till you can't breath maillots (moi), drank enough not to care, and dove in....ask me about Karaoke later:).

I have accepted a lot lately, and quite frankly it scares me. I have accepted these things finally-- and I wonder if it's a great step towards enlightenment or an apathetic sorry excuse?

• Four kids and six animals plus a husband -revise your definition of clean. If everyone has one pair of clean underwear and a change of clothes that's good enough.
• The kids will survive without vegetables everyday. I try, but I'm tired...pick your battles.
• I'm 39 and weigh about 10lbs more than I did at 16..give or take 5lbs as I always fluctuate, that's not terrible. But I still hate it and want it gone!
  
• I'm never going to get carded again unless the waiter is smart enough to know I'll give him a great tip should he ask.
• Your middle turns to mashed potato's, you have to be hard core for this not to happen, only my hard core exercise friends or the one's blessed with goddess genes don't have this problem, they represent 5%of the population.
• Girlfriends mean more to you the older you get, period.
• Your ego still bruises but not as easily.
• Life can really get better with age as long as you mind your back yard and not everyone else's.
• I'm not aging gracefully, I'm fighting it kicking and screaming. Not for anyone else but for myself. I don't' want to give up, I want to feel good about myself for me.
• Having four kids, six animals, a fish, and a husband will make you a little psycho and that's probably okay, they need to think your a little skitzo- keeps em scared.

So I'm going to work on a plan to get fit, maybe something simple like get on the treadmill 20 mins everyday in addition to the walking and yoga I already do. I like the Zen habits zenhabits.com method of making small steps for big progress. Something over the next six months that builds a consistent habit. Gotta look good in my party hat.